Here we go again....

So the jerks at PublishAmerica decided that the $9.95+shipping and handling price for my book was a little too nice so they decided to put the price back up to 24.95...I hate them...so for those who took advantage of $9.95 price...congrats!

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As The World Turns...

In a shocking development in the soap opera that is Me vs. My Publish On Demand Company, the company has decided to drop the price of my book to $9.95, so I will in return start posting the link to their online bookstore. For those who don't know they had my book posted at the outrageous price of $24.95!!!! $24.95 for a 158 page book of poetry!!! But all is good now...hopefully they decide to keep it at $9.95 even if it starts doing some numbers. I know its the land of supply and demand and all but C'mon Son!!!!

that link is:

http://www.publishamerica.net/product37904.html

Happy Reading!!!!

There's No Tomorrow Today (a day in tha life)

There's No Tomorrow Today (a day in tha life)

I've seen it all before,
I've heard the harshest of words,
I've tasted the bitterness of defeat,
And have recieved the coldest of all cold shoulders,
But I sill remain.

The walls have caved in,
Destroying everything that has been so masterfully built up,
Reducing it to a pile of meaningless ruble.

I cannot be bothered with trivial mishaps.
There's no room for trial and error.
Everything has to be beyond flawless.
The time to rebuild has come,
And I must embrace the task with open arms and mind.

The future doesn't matter now.
I am too focused on today.
Today things have to happen,
Good things,
Today I ave to succeed,
If I don't there will be no tomorrow.

Without a Plan

Without a Plan

He sits within the deep recesses of his mind.
Covered in thoughts.
Words unsought.
He dwells on the past.
When days were brighter,
Happier...
But he's stuck in depression.
What to write,
How to write it,
When and where.
Ideas soar and fade in an instant
Why couldn't it be easier?
What is simple to others becomes so hectic for him
His demise lies in its hands,
Total confusion reigns supreme.
It's job is done.

A View From the Bottom

A View From the Bottom

What another fine mess I have gotten myself into.
I lost my focus and now I find myself here,
Uncomfortable and temperamental,
An uncommitted unmotivated mess,
Prepetually in the midst of going under yet again.
We've all been here before,
At least I think so,
Feeling like everything's gonna end at any given moment,
And just when you think things can't get any worse,
They sink to an entirely lower level.

I've run out of places to turn.
Never before have I felt so alone,
So cold,
So disconnected,
But I guess there's a first time for everything.
Precious moments are spent waiting for that inevitable moment.
Where everything in life stops and crumbles.
Destroying whatever is left of this miserable exsistence.

They say it's lonely at the top,
Or at least that's what I've been told.
I've never been there before.
Possibly in a past life,
But definitely not in this one.

I would like to be there just once,
And look down on the world below,
And smile a meaningful smile,
Not that forced smirk that is seen on a daily basis,
But the way things are now that dream is highly unlikely.

It's lonely here too,
That I am definitelyy certain of.
I wish there was a place where I could find solace.
Somewhere to shield me from the insurmountable odds that oppose me,
But my wishes are only that...
Wishes that will never see the light of day.

It's just another one of those sad realilties that I face.
I have no one to thank for this but myself.
I got myself in this.
I think I can get myself out.
I hope...
And finally be able to find my way to true happiness.

Goddess

Goddess

She stands idle as the world bows at her feet
With beauty and grace she bids the lesser a bitter farewell
Those who are lucky taste the pleasures of acceptance
Her eyes are composed of glitter-filled stars that I get lost in
No one knows what her heart truly desires
But I would crawl across the sands of the Sahara to find out
I would give the universe just to see her heavenly smile
And keep her heart content
I am only a dreamer who looks to the constellations for guidance
With hopes of one day proving myself worthy
Not only to her but to myself as well
She brightens the day when all is cloudy
She is the rainbow after all my storms
My only hope is that one day I can return the favor

The Road to Destiny

In the beginning there was only a dream.
Wrapped in infatuation,
Dripping in sweat,
Yearning for something more.
Something greater.

Every night I scanned the constellations.
Searching for an answer
A way to evolve dream to reality.
Something to satisfy the hunger growing within.

Without warning it was granted,
A solution to my prayers,
But it didn't come without consequences.

Doubts started to come to light,
The inner demons started to whisper their vile song,
Questioning my will to complete my dream,
Turning me against myself.

The arduous journey has come to an end.
I've fought the fight and won.
Dream has been successfully converted to reality,
The hunger temporarily satisfied,
But my work is not done.

Triumph

The Storm has finally lifted,
Leaving a path of destruction in its treacherous wake.
Broken hearts,
Shattered hopes,
and troubled thoughts.
Yet I still stand...

A Dark Moment

Disappointment...
Anger...
Aggravation...
Despair...
Frustraition...
Rage...
Standing alone they are merely words,
But together they are lyrics to the soundtrack of life.
A life that no longer seems to make much sense.
I live in a world where everything is supposedly black and white,
Yet I find myself constantly surrounded by shades of grey.

I spend my days chasing after things I will never catch.
Trying to recapture the moments that made me the way I am,
That molded me into the person I am today.
Daily I find myself searching blindly for an ounce of hope,
Something to let me know that all I've done is not in vain.
Something to set me on my path to build a legacy.
Marking my place in history.
Cementing my status as someone,
But how can one build without the proper foundation?

I had a conversation with the voice of reason,
and that bitch lied to me.
Told me the things I wanted to hear.
Then threw me to the crowd,
Leaving me to suffocate under the weight.

I thought I had things understood,
But maybe I don't.
Maybe this isn't meant to be comprehended.
Maybe this just isn't for me.
I just don't know anymore.

You don't know what it's like.
To be smiling on the outside,
While kicking and screaming on the inside.
How do you feign happiness?
Knowing that everything is crashing around you,
Knowing that whatever you try just is not going to cut it,
Knowing that all you wanted was success,
But fell victim to so much more.

I am lost.
Trapped within the clutches of the reality-tainted fantasies of yesteryear.
Haunted by images thought buried long ago.
I cannot shake them,
They mirror my every move.
Taunting me,
Showing me flashbacks of what once was and the premonitions of what's to come.

Tired

I'm tired of being caring.
It almost always gets mistaken for something it's not,
and I almost always get viewed as something I'm not.
It never fails.
It is what it is,
I am who I am.
If you cannot see that now,
I guess you never will.

I'm tired of being the understanding one.
I only get taken advantage of anyway.
You tell me what you think I want to hear.
Doing your little song and dance,
or whatever it takes.
Then I give in,
and you get your way.
Leaving me to wonder what the hell just happened.

I'm tired of being the "better person"
Just once i would like to stoop to a lower level,
and get down and dirty with the best of the worst.
Just to come out smelling like roses,
but I turn my back and walk away,
And I still get shit on in the end.

I'm tired of being talked about.
Find something better to do with your time.
Be more constructive with your life.
Don't worry about me and what I am doing.
Worry about yourself.
Mind your business.
It can only make you a better person in the long run.

I'm tired of normalcy.
Sometimes I wish I could switch it up.
Do something outside of the box.
Something totally unexpected,
But I can't.
Unseen barriers don't allow me to,
and I am left stuck with the same old routine.

I wish I had the will to fight,
but my will lies dormant,
Somewhere deep within.
Guarded under lock and key,
Bound by exhaustion,
and tormented by false hopes of one day being alive again.

Brown Eyes on a Tuesday Afternoon

Once those eyes were a joy to stare into
Big and beautiful
So full of promise
I could lose myself in them and not even care
But how could something so fascinating belong to someone so vain

Tuesday...
A day that refuses to escape memory
She said so much on that day
Made so many empty promises

She said that she was ready to take that leap of faith
That she was ready to love
And be loved
Her eyes said it all
But her heart had other plans

Her mind games have claimed me as yet another victim
I fell prey
My soul was lead on
By her enchanted words
And her pretty brown eyes on that Tuesday afternoon

Inspiration

When I see you I feel compelled to write most beautiful words.
It's unexplainable.
Feelings erupt from deep within,
and explode through pen to paper.