A View From the Bottom

A View From the Bottom

What another fine mess I have gotten myself into.
I lost my focus and now I find myself here,
Uncomfortable and temperamental,
An uncommitted unmotivated mess,
Prepetually in the midst of going under yet again.
We've all been here before,
At least I think so,
Feeling like everything's gonna end at any given moment,
And just when you think things can't get any worse,
They sink to an entirely lower level.

I've run out of places to turn.
Never before have I felt so alone,
So cold,
So disconnected,
But I guess there's a first time for everything.
Precious moments are spent waiting for that inevitable moment.
Where everything in life stops and crumbles.
Destroying whatever is left of this miserable exsistence.

They say it's lonely at the top,
Or at least that's what I've been told.
I've never been there before.
Possibly in a past life,
But definitely not in this one.

I would like to be there just once,
And look down on the world below,
And smile a meaningful smile,
Not that forced smirk that is seen on a daily basis,
But the way things are now that dream is highly unlikely.

It's lonely here too,
That I am definitelyy certain of.
I wish there was a place where I could find solace.
Somewhere to shield me from the insurmountable odds that oppose me,
But my wishes are only that...
Wishes that will never see the light of day.

It's just another one of those sad realilties that I face.
I have no one to thank for this but myself.
I got myself in this.
I think I can get myself out.
I hope...
And finally be able to find my way to true happiness.