Tired

I'm tired of being caring.
It almost always gets mistaken for something it's not,
and I almost always get viewed as something I'm not.
It never fails.
It is what it is,
I am who I am.
If you cannot see that now,
I guess you never will.

I'm tired of being the understanding one.
I only get taken advantage of anyway.
You tell me what you think I want to hear.
Doing your little song and dance,
or whatever it takes.
Then I give in,
and you get your way.
Leaving me to wonder what the hell just happened.

I'm tired of being the "better person"
Just once i would like to stoop to a lower level,
and get down and dirty with the best of the worst.
Just to come out smelling like roses,
but I turn my back and walk away,
And I still get shit on in the end.

I'm tired of being talked about.
Find something better to do with your time.
Be more constructive with your life.
Don't worry about me and what I am doing.
Worry about yourself.
Mind your business.
It can only make you a better person in the long run.

I'm tired of normalcy.
Sometimes I wish I could switch it up.
Do something outside of the box.
Something totally unexpected,
But I can't.
Unseen barriers don't allow me to,
and I am left stuck with the same old routine.

I wish I had the will to fight,
but my will lies dormant,
Somewhere deep within.
Guarded under lock and key,
Bound by exhaustion,
and tormented by false hopes of one day being alive again.